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Okay, this one's easy. I'm in the Justice League, right? We negotiate all the time--with the bad guys. And sometimes with the good guys. Or with people who are on two different sides of a conflict where there are no good guys or bad guys.
We negotiate, okay?
So--Step One: Make sure Bats is there. What? In any successful negotiation, you need Bats there to intimidate the heck out of both sides of the issue. That goes double if there are bad guys around, because for some reason, the rest of us just aren't as scary as him. And I don't get that at all.
I mean--we have a guy who's strong enough to crush coal into diamonds with his hands, and who shoots lasers out of his eyes. GL has a seriously powerful magic ring, which is limited only by his imagination (which, okay, I love you, man, but yours could use some work--read a fantasy novel or something--it'll help you out). Wonder Woman has the Greek pantheon backing her up, and do you want to tangle with the Greek gods? I really don't. Hawkgirl--okay, that mace is just scary, I don't care who you are. J'onn can get into your head and make you do or say whatever he wants, and he's a shapeshifter, and he can go through walls. And me--if I was in a really bad mood, I could pretty much make you explode.
Or did you not know that's what happens when someone makes the insides of your body vibrate at speed?
Not that I would. It's just... something I could do if I were a little nastier with my powers. Which I'm not. Anyone looking here for an evil Flash should just keep on walking.
Anyway--none of that's the point. We have all these incredibly powerful people, and who is everyone afraid of? The guy in the bat costume.
Not that Bats isn't scary. Because he is.
So--are we done here, because I gotta go. Somewhere, there's a crime happening, and a gyro being made.
Oh? Five steps? Uh...
Steps 2-4: ???
Step Five: Profit!
There--five steps. 'Bye!
Wally West--The Flash
DC Comics
360 words
We negotiate, okay?
So--Step One: Make sure Bats is there. What? In any successful negotiation, you need Bats there to intimidate the heck out of both sides of the issue. That goes double if there are bad guys around, because for some reason, the rest of us just aren't as scary as him. And I don't get that at all.
I mean--we have a guy who's strong enough to crush coal into diamonds with his hands, and who shoots lasers out of his eyes. GL has a seriously powerful magic ring, which is limited only by his imagination (which, okay, I love you, man, but yours could use some work--read a fantasy novel or something--it'll help you out). Wonder Woman has the Greek pantheon backing her up, and do you want to tangle with the Greek gods? I really don't. Hawkgirl--okay, that mace is just scary, I don't care who you are. J'onn can get into your head and make you do or say whatever he wants, and he's a shapeshifter, and he can go through walls. And me--if I was in a really bad mood, I could pretty much make you explode.
Or did you not know that's what happens when someone makes the insides of your body vibrate at speed?
Not that I would. It's just... something I could do if I were a little nastier with my powers. Which I'm not. Anyone looking here for an evil Flash should just keep on walking.
Anyway--none of that's the point. We have all these incredibly powerful people, and who is everyone afraid of? The guy in the bat costume.
Not that Bats isn't scary. Because he is.
So--are we done here, because I gotta go. Somewhere, there's a crime happening, and a gyro being made.
Oh? Five steps? Uh...
Steps 2-4: ???
Step Five: Profit!
There--five steps. 'Bye!
Wally West--The Flash
DC Comics
360 words